Haven't updated in a while, I know, over a month. I've not been feeling that fine and dandy lately. One good day this whole week so far. Been crying every day apart from that one. Poor Jonathan having to put up with me. I seriously want to hand in my resignation. Lately things have gone from bad to worse. Although each day isn't absolutely awful, I walk home feeling bad about the day, every day but Tuesday. This and this from today, that from yesterday, those things from Monday, last week, during the last month, six months... all building up, and it's finally getting on top of me. I swear I'm bordering on a nervous breakdown. When I get home after work, I collapse on my chair, think "Thank god I'm home", then try and block out going to work the next day. I manage to block it out til I walk through those doors. Then I prepare myself for it. I stay on edge all day, praying I won't screw up, praying I won't forget anything, and when I do my heart sinks and think "That's it, I'm in for it now." Even if it's the simplest thing, and I go out of my way to rectify it.

Keep praying it'll get better. Got a sore throat today. Can hardly swallow. I feel like shit. Even wrapped in a blanket, fully clothed, with the heater pointed at me, I'm still getting chills. I leave late every day in a bit to make up for my obviously shit day, doing all sorts of jobs. I've been the last to leave all week. Got home at 5.45pm today. On a good day I get home at 4.30pm. Been doing all these jobs for little gratification. I'm wearing myself out. Every day I get home feeling physically and mentally exhausted, and usually, crying my eyes out.

So, in other words, a nice cheery entry today. Not.