Today was the first day back at school after half term. I've asked the boss about Thursday, she said it was fine, and to fill in a leave of absence form. It's on the receptionist's desk as we speak, ready to be processed. *sigh*

Talking about it today nearly brought me to tears. What's also hard is that a colleague's mother died during half term as well.

I left work at 4.20pm (ish) today. I'm paid til 4pm (not longer), and I usually do more than my hours anyway, even leaving at 4pm. It was a pleasant early evening, getting dark, yes, but still fairly light outside. It was calm, there was a very light breeze, and the mood was good.

As I walked over the bridge on my way back home, I saw a late-middle aged woman walking towards me. Just before she passed me, I caught her eye, and smiled at her. A smile immediately crossed her lips in return, and I walked on, feeling empowered by this encounter. A few moments later, a man was approaching, and again, I caught his eye, smiled, and was rewarded with another smile in return.

For some time during my journey, I did not pass any other people, but I walked along my way.

After some time, I noticed some birds up above in the sky. I say "some". I mean about a thousand. I was in awe of these birds, flocking here to there in the sky, almost in a long snake. I must have looked a sight to the people waiting at a bus stop nearby, with my head craned upwards, not looking where I was going, watching these birds. I wondered by the sheer volume of them whether they were migrating for the winter. I think birds are cleverer than us humans. They created a way to get from dingy Winter England to gorgeous sunny Africa, while we're stuck here on this wet island.

Furthur along my way, I encountered a couple, and proceeded to try and walk as quickly as I could to prove my fitness (which is no doubt improving from 10 miles a week). I passed them quite easily mainly because I think I was lucky with the traffic.

As I kicked through the leaves that had wettened and then dried out in the breeze, I thought about Anne, how she affected everyone who met her. The first day I met her I knew she was a fighter. And she was. With cancer, she lasted long enough for Jonathan and I to say our final goodbyes, for Naomi to say goodbye, and to avoid going on Jonathan's birthday. Even three days before her death, her mind was all there. It was her body that let her down, but she knew what she wanted. She, as usual, didn't want us to stay longer than we wanted to for her benefit. Not that we ever have, but she was always concerned she was putting us out. That she was boring us. I admit that she would sometimes tell long tales about Milton, the small village Jonathan grew up in, and that she used to live in. Not knowing the people she talked about made some of her tales a little tedious to me, but for Jonathan I'm sure they were more interesting. As I neared my front door, I regretted not being able to finish the cross stitch for her on time, but realised it would have been a mean feat to manage it in a month and a half. I'd have been best off getting a smaller one, but taking three weeks to get here, I had to give it my best go. I scalded myself for not spending two hours a day on it, and in the final two weeks, not spending even half an hour a day on it.

Still, life goes on, for the rest of us, and I'm sure she would have wanted us to not dwell on her for too long.

On other news, I received an email from my mother announcing she was planning on quitting smoking. A decision off her own back. This is brilliant news, and I'm behind her 100% Well done, Mum. I'm sure you'll make us proud of you.